Letter For You..

I never understood why I sat for hours staring at the stars, or listening to every rain drop fall til I couldn't anymore. I guess being blind this whole time made me realize what I was really missing. I still walk in the dark and close my eyes and try to feel you standing there behind me. It never works anymore, the praying, pleading for you to wake me up from my nightmare called life. Walking in the middle of my hate for you and my love. Wishing you could have been smarter and realized what you were doing to us all. Now I know why I never could stop staring at the sky, just like that night I heard you died. The only star I ever saw fall was that night. I still look hoping maybe you'd send me another sign. I go to the same place, wishing you'd listen to me cry for you and you'd come home. I don't see the same anymore, everything is still in a haze everytime I see your picture. I thought I regained God before he took you, my faith crashed into the earth with that very star. Every dream you tell me to be happy, follow what my heart wants. I did that, but it ended me right back where I started. So please, I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. So again I'm sitting under the stars, praying to God, begging for you to give me a sign. This can't truly be how life will end. This can't really be all life is, heartache..tears...anger..pain...So why again are we here??